The Eagles Are Going To Miss Out On Hiring Bill Belichick Because They're Too Big Of Cowards To Fire Nick Sirianni

Julio Aguilar. Getty Images.

The Eagles are heading into the bye week at 2-2 after getting dicks stomped in by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers yet again. There are a million different reasons why this shithead Eagles team is 2-2 right now. Jalen Hurts has been playing like dog shit for 4 straight weeks. Someone forgot to tell Kellen Moore that Saquon Barkley is on this team and he refuses to dial up the runs early in the game. They've only played one game so far with all 3 of AJ Brown, DeVonta Smith, and Saquon in the lineup. The defense, outside of the New Orleans game, is beyond trash and without exaggerating probably missed at least 30 tackles yesterday. Darius Slay, Avonte Maddox, and CJ Gardner-Johnson are all as washed as it gets and they flat out refuse to make a play. Does Bryce Huff even exist? I swear to god I still haven't seen him in an Eagles uniform. 

There are 53 players on this roster and maybe 3 of them have actually played up to their potential so far this season. The players aren't executing, and I don't want to feel like I'm letting them off the hook here. But it all starts with the "CEO" and lead cheerleader, Nick Sirianni, not having this team prepared week in and week out. The team is still yet to score a point in the 1st quarter of games. 4 straight weeks without a single point in the 1st quarter. That needs to be completely unacceptable as far as Eagles' standards go. Clearly there's no legitimate plan for this offense heading into games. It was also clearly evident the defense had no intentions on playing a tough, physical game yesterday. What the fuck was Nick Sirianni doing the entire week of practice? That was one of the most pathetic 4 quarters of Eagles football we've ever had to watch, and it's coming off the heels of the most embarrassing collapse in Eagles history at the end of the 2023 season. 

I thought Nick Sirianni should have been fired after last season, but I get it. You don't want to let one horrific stretch determine the man's fate. He coached a team in the Super Bowl, had been to the playoffs 3 years in a row, I can understand wanting to give him a chance to right the ship and turn things around in 2024. But now we're a full month into this season and it's the same exact thing as the end of last year. Underachieving, lack of preparedness, constantly playing from behind, and a coach who looks completely lost out there. It's time for the Eagles to cut their losses and get out of the Nick Sirianni business. 

BUT….

Jeffrey Lurie doesn't have it in him. Howie Roseman doesn't have it in him. These two are so afraid to ever admit that they were wrong. They are such egotistical bastards that they'd rather waste an entire season watching this same shit over and over again than admit they should have fired Sirianni in the summer. And they especially won't admit it this early in the season. This is a duo that is petrified to fire a coach in the middle of the season because they don't want to look like they're panicking. So while they wait until the offseason to let Sirianni go, other teams are going to come in and lock up all the best candidates to replace him. 

Jacksonville? New York? Dallas? Chicago? There are plenty of teams out there with a shaky situation at HC. There are going to be plenty of options for Bill Belichick to choose from in only a matter of weeks. But unless Jeffrey Lurie and Howie Roseman get their heads out of their asses here, the Eagles won't be one of them. 

This Eagles team has an embarrassing amount of talent to be underperforming the way they are right now. We've seen in the NFL time and time again that championship windows can close in an instant. This Eagles team needs to start winning and they need to start now. They need someone to come in and demand to get the best out of every player on this roster, instead of just showing up to work every day wanting to be everybody's best friend. The Eagles should look at having a bye in week 5 as a blessing that they have the ability to cut bait with Sirianni this early in the season. But instead, they'll just keep talking in circles about trying to get back to the standard and inevitably finish the season 9-8 or 8-9. Can't wait to keep watching this slop. 

@JordieBarstool

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